Diagnosed with Bipolar at 16

The boldness of this title frightens me. That someone I know could stumble across it and have it blaring in their face. But it’s true world, family, friends–whomever. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at age 16 and perhaps you’re expecting to hear that my world stopped. It didn’t. If anything it accelerated, spiraling out of control. I remember blurs of time in my life that race past my mind’s eye like traffic out of a car window. There’s a lot of the last 15 years that I just don’t remember. Pieces I’ve repressed, others…was I even present?

To be clear, I was only diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder after being misdiagnosed with depression. I was given Prozac and sent on my way. Well, the Prozac threw off my chemical balance even more and catapulted me into a manic episode that ended in near-death experience. I was hospitalized. It was then that I was given the diagnosis that I have battled with, ignored, cursed, and disassociated from my whole adult life.

I was prescribed one medication after another to try to calm my mind and nothing seemed to work. It didn’t help that I wasn’t taking it consistently. And oh, how I denied. And blamed, the medication made me sleepy, groggy, slow.

Two years ago, yes, just two. I finally came to terms with my diagnosis. I began taking my medication consistently.

Do I embrace my diagnosis? Mm, not yet. I have accepted that it is a part of me. Though how big of a part, I’m still trying to determine.

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. Gritty Momma says:

    Big hugs!! It takes so much courage to even admit you have this struggle to yourself, let alone to the world. I admire you and am impressed by your honesty and your grit and determination to make the best of whatever life hands you and take charge of your well-being. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I appreciate your kind words and support! It is hard to admit to everyone, because I don’t want to be seen as anything less than strong. But I’m realizing being strong IS admitting that I am who I am 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Gritty Momma says:

        Exactly!!! 🙂 Keep on at it!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Kait Mauro says:

    I have bipolar disorder too. I was diagnosed at age 20 but was diagnosed with “regular” depression as a child. I’m married and renting in AL (Alabama lol LA backwards, sorry I’m a dork). Anyways, cheers!

    Like

  3. I’m still in denial on my diagnosis.

    Like

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