This is a question we found ourselves asking our married friends soon after we became engaged. After all, we would justify, we’ve lived together for two years now, been together for five more. How different can it be? Quite.
First thing’s first, brace yourself: the change in title. Whether you choose to legally change your name or not, you are still taking on the title of “wife”. This alone can make someone feel a little dizzy. The fact that you are now a full-grown, adult wife who will now do full-grown, adult wife things–things like building a home and balancing expenses and…and having a baby.
Which brings me to my second point. Remember when everyone’s question was “When are you two getting married?” Well, you guessed it, it’s now “When are you two having a baby?” Instantly, I think we got asked by one of our guests mid-way through our reception dinner. I just wanted to choke down some food at that point.
Perhaps the biggest change, is the sense of responsibility. As you add each other to all of your policies, you begin to realize…I’m partially responsible for this person. As a newly married couple, it’s me and him, day in and day out. If I don’t get out of bed all day, he will know it. If he gets up at 3:00am sick to his stomach, I’ll know it. My husband and I have already become in tune with each others and are more willing to be accommodating and considerate of the other’s needs and wants.
So, does marriage change the relationship? Definitely, it should. It is a new step in your relationship; a very large step, too. See this as an opportunity to grow and be flexible with your partner as they try new things as well. And, as always, communicate your way through the changes.